This Week's Focus

Investigate my life, O God
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life.

Psalm 139:23-24

Monday, April 26, 2010


A lifetime of feeling worthless. Always looking to how others see me to feel ok. Dependent on the opinions of everyone else to feel valued. Thinking I have to be spectacular to be special. It is a rollercoaster I thought I'd overcome. And yet, in every conflict lately, in every relationship problem I have, in all the areas God seems to be revealing to me there it is: I don't really feel valuable. I don't live a life of power that comes from knowing you are. And so I have begun a journeythat feels radical to me because I never stick with any routine! But when I was reading a book last summer, Deeper, the author planted the idea. She gave a whole year to the process of reading Psalm 139 every day for a year. It inspired her to write the book as she began to see patterns of truth and it began to change her. I am begging God for it to do something deep in my own heart.

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